Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication can be defined as the transactional process of creating meaning through mutually responsive entities - or less formally, transmitting and receiving messages to and from other individuals. When people are communicating, they're being bombarded with information which, in most cases, they vastly fail to perceive. Why? Because people are not aware of the manner in which others perceive the world and themselves. They may have a rough idea, and even share some commonalities, but being able to predict interpretation of meaning to its full extent is impossible. However, it is possible to recognise some general trends.

Interpersonal communication has a core structure: sender, receiver, message and context. When the first 'message' is produced, a receiver will interpret that message according to his personal background (values, culture, experiences, knowledge and more) and according to the context in which the message was produced (situation, relevance, sender characteristics and more). To effectively communicate, people need to be able to align each individual's background information to the verbal or cultural significance of the message being transmitted. Relationships are based on that common level of understanding, and the more people fail to communicate to each other, the more they develop personal assumptions that could lead to conflict.

Barriers to communication

Considering its complexity, understanding the core challenges to interpersonal communication can vastly improve the process of interpreting people's messages, and helping them understand how to interpret yours. According to Bolton (1993) there are twelve major communication spoilers, listed in three different categories:

Judging

1. Criticising - making a negative evaluation of the other person.

2. Name-calling - stereotyping the other person.

3. Diagnosing - analysing the other person's behaviour.

4. Praising evaluatively - making excessive positive judgments to the other person.

Sending Solutions

5. Ordering - commanding the other person to do something you would like.

6. Threatening - controlling the other person's actions by warning about consequences.

7. Moralising - telling what the other person should do in a given situation.

8. Inappropriate or excessive questioning - using close-ended questions in excess.

9. Advising - giving the other person a solution to a problem.

Avoiding the Other's Concerns

10. Diverting - "pushing" a solution to the other person's problems.